In Which I Prepare to Add A New Hat

I wear many hats. Most wives and moms do. Mom, wife, nurse, chef, chauffeur, counselor, teacher, and that doesn't even scrape the surface. Lately I've been trading hats pretty frequently and the most recent one is that of janitor. In the six months we've lived in this house we have managed to amass far more junk and stuff than should be allowed. I'll never understand how that happens. It must reproduce on it's own when we're not looking, and it's really starting to get under my skin and irritate me. I hate that unorganized cluttered feeling. I don't want it in my house because from there it tries to invade my mind and lately it's been successful.

I put on my janitor hat and started clearing out the garage today. For months it's been irritating me super duper a LOT! To the point where I've been getting annoyed and short tempered just looking at it. It's at one end of the house and I figure I'll start there and over the next few weeks work my way through the entire house to the other end doing little decorating projects I have in mind and clearing out unwanted clutter. "Excellent plan," I congratulated myself on getting motivated instead of getting annoyed.

Anyway, I started on the garage. The garage in our house had been made into a rec-room sort of area many years ago before we even knew this house existed, but it has been more of a storage room than anything else since we moved in. The foosball table and mini-pool table are crowded out by assorted junk and stuff. I had an old but functioning full sized fridge out there that I was able to unload painlessly on Craig's List. Yay! Our daughters have some boxes containing the remnants of their childhoods stored along one wall and they have been able to go through them on various visits so those boxes are dwindling, which is a good thing. (Confession: I have confiscated a few of those remnants to sustain my own cherised memories!) I have an old desk that was my grandmother's (not going on Craig's List!) and some boxes of mementos that I want to keep but don't want to display stashed in a corner. I need to find a place for those things, and others but the worst problem out there is that I collected a bunch of Christmas decorations (hello again, Craig's List) that I don't know what to do with. Some woman was getting rid of literally a warehouse full of stuff and she had probably five or six full car loads of just Christmas decorations.

After looking around in that warehouse I decided she was definitely certifiable. I mean, what kind of private person (not a retailer or seller) has a whole warehouse of junk including a nearly infinite amount of Christmas stuff...much of it brand new?  And not just your regular junk. Bizarre and weird things. But that's another post.

I was looking for a zillion strings of lights because my husband is inspired to make our house some kind of electric wonderland this year. For some reason he's interested in outdoor Christmas decorating for the first time in our 25 years of marriage. I have no idea what sparked his interest, but whatever! I'm into it. It'll be fun.

Where was I? Oh yeah. That weird warehouse. I scored these bazillion strings of lights but part of the deal was that this woman wanted me to take all the other decorations too. I declined the extra carloads, but out of some misplaced sense of obligation I did load up with one trip's worth of greenery, Santa hats, wreaths, trims, bells and other holiday sundries. Now, don't get me wrong: I LOVE to decorate for Christmas. It's just that I don't really have a need for 27 wreaths. No kidding. Twenty seven. One of them is about four feet in diameter. It must have come from a department store display or something. It also looks like someone tried to fold it in half for some reason and it's all kind of mangled and wonky. Anyway...my point...I do have one...my point is that I set aside all the lights and I now have several very large garbage bags of Christmas cheer to get rid of. Once I find a home for all that stuff (anywhere...I don't care! I just need it gone! It's making me crazy! Hello again, Craig's List) I will be able to organize the rec room and finally feel like I've accomplished something productive. It will be a good start on the productivity thing.

I said all this to say that I had planned to dedicate the whole day tomorrow to getting my garage, and thus my life, in order. I just knew that once the foosball table is pulled away from the wall into a usable position, the weights and workout equipment is tidied up, the chairs are distributed attractively, and the boxes and extra furniture are removed to the "official" storage room (at the opposite end of the house...I shudder to think what that place will be like when I've finished going through the whole house!) and the whole place well vacuumed--I just knew that THEN I would feel settled, unruffled, calm, and peaceful. Forever. It's the key to life. It's all I need for happiness.

But.

Even the best laid plans can go awry. This evening my husband asked me to take over the accounting for the church that we pastor and he wants to dedicate tomorrow to training me. This, too, is fodder for an independent blog post, but suffice to say that accounting is NOT my forte and there is a REASON why my husband has been doing it and not I, and it's not because he wanted to! I love that he wants me to help him and I truly want to relieve some of the load he carries but seriously? The accounting? And tomorrow? I guess the garage will have to wait another day or two. It doesn't really matter...it's been that way for months already! I just hope I can keep all that clutter and junk from toying with my mind because I will need all my faculties and I will need them fully functional tomorrow if I can ever hope to successfully "get it" with the accounting.

So I will be attempting to add an accountant's hat to my vast collection.

Photo credit:
http://www.examiner.com/x-9721-Omaha-Style-Examiner~y2009m5d3-Kentucky-derby-hats